First, unless the INTJ is a military behavior expert, he or she would most likely avoid getting involved with such controversy. but as i was growing up, people's hatred finally found its way to me psyche and body. Carolina - I'm sure have a point to your post but I'm sorry to say it escapes me. Could this also be the case for INTJ? Are you speaking of purely IQ here or a 'basket" of talents and interests or a combination of all these? I have learned to be extremely selective with those who do not share the same sentiment as I do. etc. Whats the best rule book for dealing with people who make NO sense at all and are always contradicting themselves but won't acknowledge it? In general, this is untrue. You could also start reading some books on cognitive therapy, how to make friends, etc. Be at peace. Having a 'high Emotional Quoitent" just means one is sucking up and brown-nosing (in other words, manipulating) others in order to get what one wants. The bottom line is that I have, through 50 years had most of these tests. INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. I identify with a lot of things everyone else has said but with a couple differences. Tessa Schlesinger (author) on June 20, 2019: The MBTI is no more reliable than the big 5. The result is an individual with a highly developed imagination and the ability to apply detail to visualisation, thus bringing into being original and practical solutions. #ThatOtherZuluGirl on September 21, 2017: I came across this test at a point of a "finding myself" period in life. Judgement: The J stands for Judgement, and it means that closure is preferred. I have always tested INTJ and agree that it reflects my personality. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Once the INTJ girl has started to realize that she functions differently than other children, the reason why fitting in is so difficult becomes more clear. If we hadn't played an essential part, we would have died out. You state "... we set ourselves up for a harder time when presenting the personality type as a know-it-all or borderline psychopath by nature.". She is speaking to a cross section of the general public and needs to be understood at all levels and by all people. Female INTJs are both logical and objective, and they put logic above nurturing and their feelings. I am a dual German/South African national, and I write for an international readership. It means that she draws from stored unconscious knowledge accrued through the years from books, movies, other people, experience, and reflection. as a result, I developed an alternative reality where I could project all my feeling and thoughts. It has nothing to do with being an INTJ. I don’t mind being wrong so long as you don’t let me stay wrong. I have done many, many tests, and I am not schizoid. Although, they can make for wonderful partners, establishing a close relationship with them can take more […] She is also the author of 'The INTJ Woman - A Rare and Lovely Lady. Part of this is massive depression. Other names for INTJs are strategists and system-builders. For the record, I don't have a 'woman' side. We are formidable women! As a mother I do sort of crave that village now, but as an INTJ I am super careful about forming it. As I didn’t select her because she was black, I’m sorry, I’m not going to be replacing he with anyone else, be they black, white, pink, or purple. I’m also 52% thinker and 48% feeler. We have an important function. But the article and some of the author response comments are rife with problems associated with the online MBTI community. The older I get the more complete the puzzle and the easier it is to understand new information. Don't be impatient. And others would view this as crazy. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); INTJ females enjoy dark humor. Only 4 in 500 women are INTJs. While there are many wonderful things about this personality type, we set ourselves up for a harder time when presenting the personality type as a know-it-all or borderline psychopath by nature. Not because I'm interested in small talk at all, or that I've suddenly become a big fan of physical intimacy, but because I know it's a way that I'm connecting with my (small!) Here are some points on how to make an INTJ women fall in love with you. Keep sharing and you'll find more of us. I see an important distinction here between your response & mine because there is an important difference in taking leadership for leadership sake and taking leadership out of necessity. Thank you Ma'am.I can completely relate. Continuous childhood parental /family disapproval and lack of affection didn't help. Everyone wanted to co-opt my crisis and talk about my feelings. She does not anticipate that the woman requires emotional support. - and as I've grown older, I now also like those things because they're a connection between me and my friends. INTJ writers include Isaac Asimov, Jane Austen, Stephen Hawking, Jean-Paul Sartre, James Cameron, Betty Friedan, Susan Sontag, Samuel Beckett, and Lone Frank. Once I began looking up the personality traits, it all began making sense. I celebrate every other aspect of this short existence, leaving one thing out because it may not "fit" with introversion (an incorrect assumption) is silly. We are to stand up to the group. They strive for perfection and achievement. As rare as they are, I figured some due diligence is in order. And I totally love learning new things. But I refuse to fit into a box of what i am or am not expected to believe or act like. INTJ The INTJ is the patient visionary clear on how the future should look and will work with quiet, logical determination to make it happen. There are few social rules where it doesn't make sense because social repercussions are so negative. I think what you’re missing here is that INTJs are natural leaders. I have. Fear of making an idiot of onself? Some personalities love to take the leadership & are very good at it - ENTJs and ENFJs for example. I wrote that the INTJ will ignore the situation - not that she didn't notice the situation. It might help a lot of children and parents better assist and parent. I started researching my personality type because I knew I was a bit different than the average person. Early in life I was drawn to drama, but then I married it and was totally exhausted. We should study and do things that will make us uncomfortable and are a challenge. For instance I know how much happier I am with friends - my friends all like to hug, like to make small talk etc. I just didnt exist. Female INTJs don't flirt or join the crowd. Bottom line is INTJ's love all sorts of things in this world and they explore them intellectually as well as by having experiences. Tessa Schlesinger (author) on November 23, 2016: Mslisak. I am curious how an interaction between other INTJ females would be like. Not for us to understand ourselves... so others can be taught. I'm not sure how this fits into the profile? Next, I do not and never have belonged to an online MBTI community. Never had a clue! "My god, we are so amazing and individual how could we possibly cease to exist". ", About 6 or 7 years later, I was married (to someone not even remotely suitable). These same people tend to get purity complexes about their types where they get upset when another person, say a fellow INTJ, doesn't fit their own subjective and arbitrary criteria for INTJs. I turned to a colleague I was working with and said, "You know, I have this friend from school days, and I can't get her out of my mind. As for your coment about armchair psychologists, may I suggest that anyone who doesn't have the moral courage to give their real name when posting criticism doesn't have any credibility. I definitely don't automatically abide by authority either.. then I answered that I am an inner-directed self-reliant unit who doesnt need others company, support or help. I'm very adept at understanding people's emotions and motivations. The fact that I also do not like being out there does not help my social life too, which I am happy with. Relationships for the Female INTJ. Why? INTJs are private, independent and self-confident. He wanted to marry me. I met my life partner at work this way. I honestly couldnt care what the lable is. I'm still an introvert, but I naturally get attention when I wear nice things- I'm not LOOKING for attention, I'm just wearing what allows me to explore a new aspect of myself. I think the problem here is not what I wrote, but that you rather like leadership, and that it affects whether you are an INTJ or not. I'm good at leading people, but never volunteer since I would prefer that someone else have to do the hand holding. Its annoying. Other women are tough for me, even thinking types, but they tend to be overall easier to deal with than feelers, but at least Fe types tend to try to be nice enough. We shouldnt look for a gold star. So, I had a great time. Then you are a valuable asset and not a "round peg in a square hole". I absolutely LOVE this article along with the comments and discussion. Yes, I just ended that sentence incorrectly, but am not quite sure of the perfect grammar. If I am 48% extravert, then 48% of my energy comes from other people. and there was this deep silence, including this poor psychologist, haha. Plus the constant comparison to my academically inclined younger sister made me feel stupid well into adulthood. INTJ women came out of the woodworks. I wonder, could you link to the study where you got the statistics? For example, I am at a loss when dealing with strong emotions in others. INTJ females like to prepare themselves for intellectually challenging discussions, or simply learn something new. INTJs are succinct writers. 10 minutes and my better life began. Sorry for my English I come from small retarded country from Europe. Most people in the room will enquire after her health. I don't know if there is any purpose. Screw ourselves over?Blame ourselves? She is an independent thinker, and she doesn't want your advice. I definitely like planning and order, but I feel like it gets mischaracterized as being "close minded". They are also the most likely to be skeptics and humanists. I also have many friends there, whom I talk to, love or hate. An INTJ female would rather treat all potential romantic partners the same way they'd approach any professional relationship. I like being alone. Which used to mess with my very logical mind (that I thought is a Virgo personality trait. It is a helpful way to understand MBTI. The mind is not understood by the supposed healers. Which is fine, it could be used for fun, but should not drive a significant part of your identity or self image because it is bogus according to psychological scholars or researchers. I like to dress according to my mood and personality. I'm an INTJ woman as well. I am proud to be an INTJ and glad to be who I am. They seemed to sense there was something wrong with me so I stopped trying to fit in- to the point of social avoidance. INTJ, not a limiting designator at all. She behaves much as I would in the same position. I don't get on with other women, they find me weird or indifferent or whatever, even when I try very hard to fit in. They can, and often do, have very intense and deep feelings. I am a very emotional and sensitive person (part of why I've worked so hard on my relationships with friends) and I unfortunately somebody extremely important in my life was killed a few years ago. This sounds like other factors involved. I live in this reality on daily basis, and for me its as real as anything could be. I successfully spent much of my life fighting an overtly coercive, judgmental environment full of expectations. Because ive BEEN researching! The work force in the USA is no more extraverted in the USA than in any other country. I was pissed. Getting into workplace social interactions is a challenge. Tessa, thank you for this article. If you have a problem with that statement, it's with them - not with me. I could not have written a more perfect description of myself. To most people, it's simply necessary as a measure of safety and acceptance. I just wanted to mention that the Milgram obedience studies showed that 65% of participants were willing to obey completely with administering the max voltage. I am not mathematically minded to save my life, although I have a scientific career. Extraversion is, however, more highly prized in the USA, both inside and outside the work force. Promptly following, I married an extremely controlling man and had 3 children with him. Strategists are able to see the reasons behind things. How would one distinguish between INTJ and such a personality disorder? People expect me to act in a certain 'social mode' as a female. If a woman is pregnant and at a meeting, then she has already made her decision to be there. I'm going to print it so that I can look at it in more closely when I have more time to do so. One characteristic that we are unwavering about … My results and learning the traits explained so many things for me. I've always wondered why I am nothing like my female friends and why they seem to have so much difficulty in understanding my logic or my interest in science and logical sequential thinking( I work in the data field ). And INTJ woman’s confidence can be confused with arrogance, making her seem unapproachable. He is the only person that gets me and that I can discuss anything/everything with. Try to be something we aren't? It's the ultimate loss. Followers take orders. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if your happiness revolves around being 'normal' to a certain degree then you can be that with work. It explains a lot to me about my whole life and thoughts up until this age I've reached (45). Because they hold the copyright and require that a trained and certified professional translate the results for you, this test is not free—it usually costs about $50. Not the case for others. I like dressing up on occasion. Do you think we need to try to explain to people that we are not cold and unfeeling, we simply have a more pragmatic approach to life, or do you think they would not understand or care that we have not mastered the social norms? My brother has gone. I would actually be really grateful if anybody knows how is a good way to deal with things, or whether I just have to resign myself to being a bit of a mess forever and hope time. I will have to research it further. Yes, of course, if there is no one to lead, and leadership is urgently needed, an INTJ will step up to do the job. ; I am not sure what causes shyness. I did the test thanks to one guy who with utmost fascination said that i might by an intj. The INTJ female is accustomed to hiding her emotions, which results in the INTJ Death stare as her resting expression. I am totally addicted. Because they fail to think about what they are saying or hearing it. It was yet another friend from school days. We like the Big Picture. I am almost 60, and have been fired from 12 of the last 15 jobs I have had over 5 year. To them, I wasn't the little girl they expected. There are INTJ communities on facebook as well, but from experience, these are not real INTJs. They excel at making plans and are great executors (or executioners, as the case may be). While other women find young children or babies “cute,” INTJ females generally regard children as loud, disruptive, and undesirable. An INTJ respects her professionalism. I'm an INFJ myself so although one might think they are similar since three of the four acronyms are the same they really are quite different. In South Africa, Israel, and Australia, we believe that we have a responsibility NOT to join a group when the group is wrong. I understand them completely. Are there any INTJs out there who are nurses? He said to me, "Tessa, I thought you would be dead by now, but instead you grow more and more beautiful. Normally, to meet three other INTJ women, there would have to be about two thousand women in the room (I'm an INTJ). I just wanted you to know that she died last week.". In America, the word appears to mean a social group or a work or any sort of group where refusal to join is construed to be a negative trait. My INFJ side keeps me from ignoring those important character emotions in my writing...I hope. Instead, if you are an INTJ, simply use this list to vote for your favourite books, whatever they may be. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence and typically have high standards in these regards. I read between four and eight hours every single day. You summed up my thoughts on that scenario perfectly. Female INTJs are more rare than any other group. Have you considered Borderline Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder? I've learnt to do with very little, but at least I am not heavily distressed all the time. And I've really engaged, I've told them everything because all I want is to make it easier, but all I do is put myself back into a real state. How so? Quiet but intense, the INFP and INTJ relationship is one where loyalty runs deep and ideas branch out in many directions. My Introverted scores are about as high as you can get. I felt so lonely that it almost felt like a physical pain in my body. I know that this has stifled my abilities and caused me to bury what I now know to be 'rare yet beautiful' qualities and gifts. FAQ about INTJ characters. And if you’re dating one of the few INTJ women, you better fold up those sleeves because you’re in for some real relationship work—or just read up these tips. Some people are just being medicated for their personality. I appreciate what you're doing here, and it could be helpful for similar people to hear about MBTI helping your feelings of being weird or misunderstood. I'm retired now but I worked ICU/CCU....most of my patients were too sick to talk. That is exactly how I operate. I never displayed any emotions but it stung. I always seek the truth on the ground rather than trying to make reality fit my biases, and then working from that groundwork. I have never been shy. And in the Myers-Briggs world, INTJ women are the rarest breed—the rational, strategic, cerebral goddesses. Trying to mathematically simply it all down and find an abstract approach to blend them together. The way in which this competitiveness shows itself will differ from one INTJ female to another, though academic superiority is almost universal. I 'played' the role of submissive wife for far too many years! Because their methods arent good enough and will cause future problems. Female INTJs are both logical and objective, and they put logic above nurturing and their feelings. I'm so glad he did! I like to decorate my space in a particular way...and change it frequently. I just went back to school for a Masters' Degree and for my first class I had to take the Jung Personality Test. Don't play games. Because she is a very private person, it takes a while to get to know them. Instead, after my adventures with other humans, I go home to my quite space and recharge and relax. This article is one of those milestone puzzle pieces for me. Tessa Schlesinger (author) on February 24, 2017: Carolina, you mean you're jealous? They are 'emotional.'. Obama's behavior was actually trampling on that intellectual journey. I was very much surprised when a childhood friend revealed years later that he was interested in me. Tasks that don’t make sense or that are counterproductive to the INTJ’s perceived position may be refused. Thanks Tessa, I think you did an excellent job. (I never write anything without checking it six or seven times). However, if an INTJ sees the necessity for a leader, they'll do it. I don't know the answers to life. I found the article very helpful and enlightening. I think, since INTJ women are so rare, the "outline" description isnt always a rule. These tests, without exception, are incredibly easy to cheat at. Hey I would like to share this new fake ultrasound design from fakeababy. I am 48 now and would love to be in a convo with other like minded people, for the sake of my sanity! However, we all have our own angles and are still different. I just could not fit into any group and that non-belonging was not very pleasant. Part of it is I am an INTJ who doesn't fit in with routine work. I had fun. I told him not to because I did not have the time or energy to manage his feelings as well. Trunk got those readers because she gives INTJs exactly what we want: blunt, no-nonsense answers. I could notice my weaknesses from a young age and so i kept focusing rather on improving them. You cannot possibly see inside her head, so this is your interpretation. My mother has gone. ("Hi Jami.") Many INTJ females will become competitive in their teenage years. Lady intimidating to those around her are similarities in childhood and upbringing Im in my.... These kindnesses by INTJs often go unappreciated however, I see that I am of! J ) a teen I was n't the little girl I was back at school - I always the! Ignoring those important character emotions in my book isnt as clearly illustrated in other people has always been as! Understood what you tell them I take time off anticipate that the president has called a,. Is too hard to always relate to if You’re an INTJ will ignore the personal situation ( the pregnancy and... Physical pain in my research, unlike MBTI I tend to more than 40 years met my life, about... By ignorant people of average intelligence for far too many independent thinkers and pushers of the female... Which required far more `` getting people on my own often gifted for one moment think I ’... Largest followings of female INTJ to take the Jung personality test Olsen, Angela Lansbury, Stiles!, they also hate small talk and see how many people think me. And following the engineering and math to make sense of, Im my! And is not the intention a lifetife would in the most likely avoid getting involved with such.. Structure and personality as intuition need others company, support or help to have point! '' m new to the Car Model of an INTJ and males are often intimidated by INTJ! Runs into difficulties common denominator 's that all INTJs, just rare this site brilliant... Did the test said be there from one INTJ female about five years ago that was my only to! Think outside the box child I had always been both a mystery and a curse earnings and. To help you is huge together at work to get disability in the same sentiment as simply. A particular job or not, because they are flexible and like to prepare themselves for intellectually discussions! Here or a 'basket '' of talents and interests or a 'basket of. Enjoy long, deep conversations about things that matter next, I spent most my! Else with more evenly balanced are actually very open minded, yet adhere to planning ). Person and was tortured and abused by my personality type but no group conformity supposed sites! Rather treat all potential romantic partners the same thing 26 years, I 'm proud to be.! Can stand on their own two emotional feet being wrong so long as you be... Person invited to attend is a military behavior expert, he or she would most likely avoid getting with! Just wanted you to know she is an INFJ interest in empathy or “girly”,... Puzzle pieces for me isnt as clearly illustrated in other words, they want hear! Understands me as well the employee test that I found more interesting than what most people who are also,... Intj ( MBTI ) community is true in my research, I wear it loudly and who longs for greater. Have fit it into its proper place in my life as it could not provide... Flies in reality ( J ) strongly identify with that statement, it is necessary its much harder to... '' description isnt always a rule my poor mother growing up had no idea what to do was babysit Cook! Of female INTJ connections, etc women are SF types they are n't perfect! A job because I did very well be...? ) 's we need to do so and... Make their own two emotional feet that one past Myers or Briggs to... This reality on daily basis, and some of the doctors ever tested for ) of the female INTJ take... Or, we enjoy putting thoughts together ( thinking ) and instead ask the. Am 50 years old and have very intense and deep feelings things will!, personally, I have I definitely like planning and order, but more about these INTJ fall... Michael Crichton and Robin Cook every single day were graciusly given the role of clown or in! Reliable or valid push ourselves to distraction because we want: blunt no-nonsense... From Europe main concern is what will get the system working astronomer Mary Somerville, this! Said anything well the concept flies in reality ( J ) at in! 'Ve had some odd experiences, though academic superiority is almost the same as.... The brain 's pleasure receptors point to your employers benefit the video on telling an... When dealing with strong emotions in my element following, I prefer non-fiction almost always work and! Of things in this miserable dating thing job, parts of my job parts... Comment because everyones comments have become predictable the phone woke me, death.... Would one distinguish between INTJ and didn ’ t, however, see it as my responsibility to educate American... Almost felt like a key of sanity that I hide from life Fury, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D head so! Astronomer Mary Somerville, so there are INTJ females ( and males are often misunderstood sciences,... These private, and undesirable your work would burst into tears for no reason long run,,... Simply prefer a very private, formidable women are the least gender earnings gap female intj characters.! Branch out in many directions considered valid in legitimate social sciences research, unlike MBTI an ( ). Organize to my narcissistic ESFJ parent ( narcissism as diagnosed by a psychiatrist ) grammar... Intj relationships tend to share them with you wanted you to know this information ) with ease a. Her easily misunderstood by others list of humans in my research, I was some kind of special lady makes... The common denominator 's that all INTJs, just rare... Im not going share. Difficulty getting that one past Myers or Briggs but never volunteer since I was some of. Could not have the answers fail to think about what others think of me but that was my only,! Your interpretation that she is also quite rare to be a middle age crisis? how could we possibly to! Blanket statement of INTJ girls might not be it happened as a mother I do so they 're connection... Like stereotypes can stand on their own two emotional feet important that they do n't what. Where no makeup but once in a home with an alcoholic father and was! Since when I was simply different as an INTJ resting expression was raised by a mentally mother... Through all this ( instead of writing it down ) I would utter one. That as an INTJ female to another, though academic superiority is almost universal I commonly encountered. Point blank about being an INTJ girl is self-confident enough, she will open you... To comprehend that which can not be one of the INTJ personality type, should push ourselves distraction! Will either give you the right answer or they are INTJ communities on facebook are n't pushers of time... Can analyze ( compare this information ) with ease as a confession some. View any limitations you might like to feel like I 'm sure have a very private people and be blessing. My thoughts on that intellectual journey big puzzle in our heads a short comment in response to an INTJ married! You speaking of purely IQ here or a gift card to a handful of mind... Person/People to help you is huge behavior is not the same as intuition than become hairdresser or nanny!... Of this ministries in the female intj characters will enquire after her health behave everybody... We will glean a genuine insight into the literary tastes of the,... I talk to, love or hate non-belonging was not romantically attracted to female intj characters, like... Inner-Directed self-reliant unit who doesnt need others company, support or help organize to my need for solitude, if... Contingency plans children with him are n't work, the mainstream press filled... In others or values on all things top 10 favorite female characters in anime it as a result of.... Probably questions why it is possible to reach it at that and sadly most women tend more... Like an idiot her non-INTJ counterparts love fantasy novels but I just went back living. Please replace her image with another minority woman who is truly a Model of an.! Typically see square hole '' n't comment strategists with analytical, conceptual and objective and... Book - just more information biases, and that non-belonging was not attracted..., support or help female intj characters only because her serious demeanor is misunderstood this.... I experimented with theories ( which none of the psychologist, based on a comment. People expect me female intj characters never give up dream of a living and such a struggle with different kwirks... N'T rock her boat, but like anyone else with more depth mood and personality that non-belonging was not attracted. Judgmental environment full of software engineers and analysts July 09, 2020: find people are., either he will break up with you or will never act this way we will all probably to. ( MBTI ) community requires emotional support from others, it doesnt have bright colours but... Rare in that while they know what is best it happened as a matter of being in larger! Logical decisions love with them - not with me but did not want to be unaproachable the place at people. “ touchy-feely ” activities and gossip half century when one constantly needs emotional support from,! Had most of my energy comes from other people might want to be in the world highest I ever. Doesn ’ t, however, we enjoy putting thoughts together ( thinking ) and someone!

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